Tuesday, August 16, 2011

goodbye?

p.s. i wrote this yesterday but i didn't have time to finish it until today. so the days are a little off.


ever since we were little we always said that we would grow up, move out together, and go to college together.  plans change.  that is definitely not what is happening now.  the time has come.  we have grown up and starting college.  but we are going our seperate ways.  i will be in hair school until december, so i am  staying right here in good old O Town.  but her, she is going away.  to a small town.  cedar city, where she will be attending suu.  i am really jealous of her.  new town, new place to live, new friends, new shcool, etc.  she basically gets to start a new life.  i wish i was doing that.  at least she is only going to be 3 hours away from me.  which means, ROAD TRIPS!  obviously i will be going down there a lot to see her. (well as much as she will allow me to..)  and she will come up to see her family (i am a part of her family).  i feel like it was yesterday when she said she has 53 days till she leaves.  (she definitely had a count down on her phone).  but today, it says 2 days left.  2 days?? am i dying right now? yes. yes i am.  i honestly don't think it will hit me untill thursday when i go to call her after school to do something, and she's not there..  she is not my best friend.  she is my sister.  always has been, always will be.  even though we will be living about 216.7 miles away from each other.  i am going to miss this girl.  a whole lot.  i do everything with her.  it is going to be so different when she leaves.  i will still have some of my best friends here, which will help me.  we have been through a lot together.  not having her by my side when i need her will be the hardest part of all this.  i know she is only a phone call away, but its not the same.  for the last few months people keep asking her about college and when she leaves and everything.  i get upset everytime and tell them not to talk about it in front of me.  i think i'm in denial.  but really.  i didn't want to bring it up untill it got closer.  its not an easy thing for me to have her leave.  i may be sad and upset about her leaving, but i am so happy for her.  she is so independant and she will do great on her own.  she is a strong girl and knows what she wants in life.  i am not worried about her one bit.  well that might be a lie... she always jokes about getting a tatoo and getting prego.  that would not be okay! i know none of that would happen.  so i really am not worried about her.  she says she doesn't wanna get married til she is 21 or 22.  but i think maybe she will find the boy of her dreams down at suu and she will be getting married within the next year.  and she always yells at me when i say that i wanna get married soon.  watch, it will happen, she will get married soon and i will be the one getting married at 25.  that would happen.  i sure hope it doesn't though.

who am i gonna borrow clothes from? whose closest will i go shopping in? who will i lend my clothes out to? who will i do glitter toes with on sundays? who will i laugh my face off, until i cry, with?  who will i do stupid things with?  who will i drive down the street waving at random people with?  who will i drive around meeting random hot guys with?  who will i have heart to hearts with?  who will i have sleepovers with?  who will i go to denny's at 2:30 in the morning with?  who will i go to del taco at midnight with?  who will i talk to about boys with? who will i fight about stupid things with? who will laugh at me when i'm trying to be funny?  who will laugh at her jokes that only i get? who who who? 

you may be wondering who this "she" girl is.. and most of you already have it figured out.  "she" is kirsten elizabeth oaks.  aka kirst.  my best friend for life, aka sister. when you hear "kirsten", you always hear "ali" following it.  its always "kirsten and ali".  two peas in a pod.  inseparable.  a package deal. you can't have one without the other.

for her birthday i made her a calendar.  we were both in every picture for each month, and then whoever had a birthday that month would also be in the picture with us.  also i gave her a necklace. i had it engraved.  on the front it has her favorite word; love.  on the back; k. a.  (our initials).  i also got myself a necklace.  on the front it has my favorite word; live.  on the back; a. k.  we both wear them everyday.  i never take it off.  this way, a part of her will always be with me.  and a part of me, with her.  its special to me.  she gave me a really cute ring for my birthday.  i wear it all the time.  i don't take it off ever.  its sterling silver, so it doesn't turn my finger all green.  i usually don't like wearing rings when i do hair, but this one doesn't bother me at all. the ring and the necklace will remind me of her each day.  i am glad i have something like this to have while she is gone.  i hope that being so far away from each other will bring us closer than ever. 

kirst is amazing and i love her to death.  she has always been here for me no matter what.  yes, we fight.  but it always brings us closer.  i know i can still count on her to be my sister when she is gone.  and she can count on me to do the same.  i want to be the one she calls when she kisses a boy down there.  or when she falls in love.  or when her roomates are bitchin about stuff.  i want to be the one she calls when she is homesick and misses her friends and family back home.  i want to be here for her when she needs me.  but, i want her to need me.  we will see how all this goes.  i love you kirsten elizabeth.  this isn't goodbye.  just cya later.  and hopefully its sooner than later.    





  


2 comments:

  1. not goodbye at all. just see ya later. which you will :) i love you best friends. words can't even describe.

    thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i better:) in a month. i know. can't wait! i love you more sis. and thank you.

    ReplyDelete