Monday, October 31, 2011

can't think of a post name.

i got to spend some time with lori and the fam. love them with all my heart. she went red!!! wait.... so did i. i will put up pictures later of me. but lori is amazingly beautiful. i love this woman.

she's perfect.

part of the fam. love them.

bbq up the canyon.

happy halloweeny.

happy halloween bloggers!

take a look at this years halloween craze. zombies. i learned how to do the makeup at school and so i tried it out on my friends. first time. pretty good i think. i was proud of myself. we've had a blast being zombies for two nights at parties. if you have a queasy stomach, you may not want to look... enjoy :)

we got a boot :(

so much for a free dance.... ha

night one pics. night two pics will come soon :) happy halloween!!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

good timing..

i knew this day would come sooner or later. working at a kiosk in the mall, you're bound to see people you don't want to see. i just didn't think it'd be the day that i'm in my zombie costume looking all dead and gross.. i definitely looked the other way and ducked down. lets just pray they don't come back this way...

p.s. my heart is racing ad i'm shaking...

8 hours of work today. what to do?

well i have to work at this dang kiosk for 8 hours straight today. all alone. so i might as well blog about something right? thanks to carlee for giving me this "i'm bored and need something to do at work" idea. here i go..

Last beverage = Monster energy drink. we went to a party last night. gotta have one of those.
Last text message = ya its pretty fun. I learned a couple years ago for airplane crash scenarios that we have to do -- form Lori :)
Last song you listened to = How to Love. Lil Wayne. he's sooo hot. mmmm. 
Lost someone special = yes.
Been depressed = yeah. but not way bad. 

teal. purple. gray.
Fallen out of love = nope. never was actually in love.

Laughed until you cried = this happens often. Corey Moris made me laugh until i cried on sunday at church. first time ever meeting the kid. hillarious.
Met someone who changed you = definitely. thanks caitlin tara and haley janae :)

 How many kids do you want to have = 4. thats plenty. What were you doing at midnight last night = getting my freak on at a halloween dance duh. Name something you CANNOT wait for = i'm with carlee on this one.. finding the guy i'm gonna marry.

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = that i didn't have to get surgery right now. so inconvenient..
What are you listening to right now= people walking in the mall. some talking about my zombie costume. i can hear you! thanks for the compliment :)
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? sure have.
What's getting on your nerves right now = hmmm actually nothing at the moment. i'm sure that'll change
 Relationship Status = single. but not really wanting to be..

He or She? = i'm a she, but i like he's. mostly;)
 Do you have a crush on someone? = yes i do. hehe:)
What do you like about yourself? = my talent to be able to dance. my cute little nose.
 Eating = nothin. but i'm hungry. good thing caitlin loves me and is bringing me food today. i work 8 hours straight and i can't leave this dang kiosk. ha ugh..
 Drinking = nothing. but i'm quite parched to be honest.

I'm about to = blog stalk some more people and talk to the verizion boys.
Feeling= tired. headache. i've had a migraine for a week now. nbd.
 Want kids = of course. i love kids.

Get Married = please and thank you. i'd be okay with knowing who he
Career = cosmetologist, dancer/dance instructor, mommie.
Hugs or kisses = i love hugs. always. but cute, sweet, random kisses are the very best. preferably on the forehead. thats a favorite of mine.
Shorter or taller = taller please. 6'2" at minimum. too much to ask for..? 
Older or Younger = older please.
Nice stomach or nice arm= both? haha.
 Broken someone's heart = yes. but they're over it. i didn't mean to. i would never mean to.

 Had your own heart broken = most definitely. too many times.
Turned someone down = sure have
Cried when someone died = yupp.Fallen for a friend = yes. yes i have. a best friend.
 DO YOU BELIEVE IN:Yourself = most the time i do. Miracles = absolutely. Love at first sight = uh not sure.. has never happened to me.
 Heaven = 100 percent
Santa Claus =duh. who doesn't?  Kiss on the first date = ummm why not?
Angels =definitely.
Did you sing today? = well seeing as i drove my car to work... i definitely sang today. its a daily routine. nbd.

If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? not sure i'd go back in time. i try not to live in the past. look to the future. :)
 If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?= ummm lets do my first kiss with this amazing guy.. it was adorable.  
Are you afraid of falling in love?= no. but i'm afraid of getting my heart broken..
Do you like your life?= i love my life. obviously there are things i wanna change. but i love what i have been given. and i love the people i'm surrounded by daily.

Monday, October 24, 2011

inspired. uplifted.

yesterday i attended a good friend's farewell.  Elder Zack Oldham.  he gave an amazing talk.  he will be such a great missionary.  i know he will bring many people into the Gospel.  he shared a poem that touched me.  i literally had tears rolling down my face as he read this.  (so did many other people in the congregation). it may be a little lengthy... but TOTALLY worth reading.  please ejoy.  thank you elder oldham.

He's Been There Before

The alarm rings at 6:30; I stumble to my feet.
I grab my companion's bedding and pull off his sheet.
A groan fills the room, is it already time to arise?
It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.

The morning activities follow - study, prayer, and such.
When it's time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven't accomplished much.
"We have a super day planned," my comp says with a grin.
I lowly utter a faithless breath, "Yeah, if anyone lets us in."

With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street
Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat.
It's 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through;
My companion and I are riding home, not accomplishing what we thought to do.

We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot.
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate "Air Box."
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete.
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet.

It's past 10:30 PM, my companion is fast asleep.
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep.
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray;
I need to talk to Father, but I'm not sure what to say.

"Oh, Father," I begin, "What happened to us today?
I thought we'd teach somebody, but everyone was away.
My hands, my aching hands - worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we'd have knocked every street."

"Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike.
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me.
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes; It's very hard to see."

"Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn't your protection enough?
People always laugh at me and call me stupid stuff.
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack;
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back."

"And what about my family? They don't have much to say,
I'm sick of not hearing from home, day after day after day.
Oh Father, why am I here, am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I'm sorry but that's on my mind."

"My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?
The way he rides his bicycle, I don't think he can see.
Now you have it, I can't go on, I don't know what to do;
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for You."

My prayer now finished I stand up, then jump right into bed.
I need my rest for tomorrow; we have another long day ahead.
Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away,
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time and another day.

I'm standing alone on the hill, the view is very nice;
A man walks towards me and says, "My name is Jesus Christ."
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet,
"Arise," He states, "Follow Me to the shade - you and I need to speak."

My attention's toward the Savior, total and complete.
He says, "Your mission is similar of what happened to Me,
I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through;
In fact it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you."

"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you.
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do.
I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet;
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn't equipped with 21 speeds."

"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate;
I remember when I sweat blood from every pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don't like your companion - you'd rather have someone else.
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth."

"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you.
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews.
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack.
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back."

"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day.
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way.
It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see;
I lost my communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken Me."

He embraced me with His arms, His light filled me with His love,
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above.
I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head,
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed.

My companion let out a groan, "6:30 already, no way!"
I sat up and said, "Come on, I'll even carry your scriptures today!"
No matter what we go through, when we feel we can't take more,
Just stop and think about Jesus Christ, He has been there before.

always remember that Jesus Christ knows each of us, and he knows what we are going through.  He can help us through anything and everything.  He has been there before. and He wants to help you.  His hand is open and ready for you to grab onto.  just reach and He'll be there.


i honestly don't know why it hurts.  do you??

why does it hurt to see someone that you used to like, be with somebody else?  especially when they didn't treat you right or respect you. that doesn't make sense to me.  so why when i see it happening does my tummy start to feel sick...?  instead of feeling bad for the girl and hoping he does't treat her the way he treated me, i'm hurt that he found someone else? hahahahaha. all i can do is laugh.  cause i honestly don't know the answer.  but i hate this feeling. so much. 

maybe...... its cause they were hanging out when we were together and he said they were just friends.  OBVIOUSLY there were feelings earlier.  right?? ah i don't know. ugh. help me. someone.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

thursday. come faster please.

i've never been more excited. okay so that was a lacey things to say.. haha. love that girl.  but really, i am so excited for tomorrow.  i'm going with my best friend, Ryan Robinson, to Parowan.  whats Parowan, you ask.  well it's about 20 minutes from cedar city.  i'm sure that helped clear things up for ya.  but his birthday is on friday and he invited me ot go spend the weekend with him for his birthday. and i'm going!! he said the whole weekend is a surprise.  good thing i LOVE surprises :)))) i got him a cute birthday present.  i will have to tell you about it when i get back. be excited. yay for thursday! now just hurry up and get here. thanks.

Monday, October 17, 2011

seven things.

when i saw that this girl blogged and tagged people, i thought for sure she'd tag me. but she didn't. so of course this girl did. thanks kirst. so here it goes, my 7 things.

1.  i carry everything on one side. when i have to carry a load of stuff, i put it all in one hand and on one side, usually my right side.  i will litterally being carrying something with my pinky before i use my other hand. its weird.

2.  i get one random hiccup at least 3 times a day.  honestly, i don't know if you can even call it a hiccup.  its the weirdest, loudest noise.  sometimes people think i'm yelling "woah", "no", "what", and many other random words. i don't know where i got it from, but it can be extrememly embarrassing..

3.  i"m adopted. if you've read my blog since day one, then you already know the story. if you haven't, check it out here . its worth reading about. promise.

4.  i like making pinky promises.  i always say, "pinky promise?" when i want someone to promise me something. i will NEVER break a pinky promise.  it just shouldn't happen. ever.  its not just a pinky promise... a pinky promise is a big dealyou make it, you keep it.

5.  i love little kids.  i don't want to sound like a creep or a pedophile. cause i'm not.  i just have been around kids a lot in my life.  i have danced since i was 3 and have been around little kids in dance.  i have taught dance for the past 3 going on 4 years and i teach primary now.  i love watching kids learn and grow. it warms my heart.

6.  i always fall for the d-bags.  i don't know why this happens. but it does. i hate it more than anything.  i give my heart away too easily and they break it faster than i give it to them.  not fair at all.  there are only four guys i can think of that i've "dated" that weren't d-bags.  thats a little out of a lot.  i would go back to one of them in a heart beat...

7.  i'm obsessed with zombies.  this obsession started a few months ago when the beautiful Caitie O'Gwin introduced me to the tv series The Walking Dead.  you could say that its amazing.  last night we watched the premiere of the second season. we had a party for it.  with lots of people and food. the whole shabang.  its THAT good.  i'm stoked for the second season. 

so now i'm suppose to tag people... but nobody reads this blog anyways.. so i won't.  haha. oh well.

Friday, October 14, 2011


hi. if you are russian with a very heavy russian accent, don't come to the mall with your chinese friend who has a very heavy chinese accent, cause truly and honeslty, i can't understand either of you! but i am thankful that you bought lots of stuff from me at my cute kiosk :) Minky Couture blankets and pillows are amazing!

Monday, October 10, 2011

worst combo.

one late night we went to the grocery store and caitie bought random crap that sounded good to her..
mint chip ice cream.
raspberry simply lemonade.
sour cream and onion lays stax.
how gross is all that in one combo?
she's a crazy girl. but we love her anyways:)
it was actually pretty good if you ate it enough apart that you didn't taste the previous food in your mouth.

gross. and yummy.

cute face caitie.

sunday nights.

i enjoy spending my sunday nights with these girls.  okay so i enjoy spending EVERY night with these girls.  literally.  i don't know what i'd do without them in my life.  we get a little crazy sometimes.  please enjoy the embarrassing pictures provided below.

its caitie's halloween costume. nbd.

this is their reaction when they saw caitie in her halloween costume. so funny.

just turning her on...

we are children and build things out of blocks. nbd.

my best fran :)

yes that is a handprint of flour on her butt...

Saturday, October 8, 2011


somtimes i crave me some smartwater. its delightful.  sometimes, might be an understatement.  i crave smartwater everyday.  and i will argue with anyone who says ALL water tastes the same. cause it definitely does NOT. thank you smartwater for quencing my thirst. people always ask me if it makes me smarter.. really people, really? its water.

weekend pictures.

surprise, i'm here :)
mirror pic? yes, its a big deal.

we all got a mirror pic. nbd.

my best friend, ryan robinson :)

beautiful trees.

love the fall colors.

right before we got on the fourwheeler.

Friday, October 7, 2011

the cocoa bean.

some things i love about this weather:

and of course the cocoa bean.
yummy hot chocolate to warm my heart.

our first hot cocoa of the fall :)

yay for the cocoa bean.

mmmm hazelnut cocoa bean.

4 hours later.

this morning i woke up, got ready, and went to the doctor.  well the hospital.  i had to get an MRI.  not just a regular MRI, but the kind where they have to inject a dye into your hip before.  the injection literally felt like they were putting 20 bricks on my hip.  the pressure was intense.  now let me back up a little bit.  i had to fill out a bunch of paper work and pay $100 copay. $100?? wow. expensive... sorry mom.  after the paper work was all done, the nice lady at the desk walked me back over to the hospital where i would get my injection to then return to her office for the MRI.  they made me fill out more paper work at the hospital.  then they took me to a room where there were scrub pants and a hospital gown.  i HAD to put them on.  gross. i put the gown on backwards i guess?  i was only trying to make a fashion statement witht the ties in the front... my bad.  i sat in the room for about 30 minutes before someone came in.  they said they'd be ready in about 15-20 minutes.  ONE HOUR LATER, someone else came in and said it'd be 15-20 minutes longer.  ummm excuse me, you said that an HOUR ago!! i'm missing school right now, so if you could get me in and out of here that'd be great thanks... (i didn't really say that to them).  they felt bad that i had been waiting so long, so they brought me a list of places i could choose from and reciece a $25 gift certificate.  there were restaurants and stores and the movie theatre.  of course i chose the university mall! might as well buy me a new shirt.  so then about 20 minutes later they came and got me and we went into the surgical room..  this is where they injected the dye.  ouch.. weirdest feeling.  then after that they had to wheel me back to the other building.  yes, i had to ride in a wheelchair.  i just wanted to walk!  but the less movement, the better the dye stays in place.  i got there at 12.  i first got to the hospital at 9:30 for my appointment.  once i got to the place where the MRI was going to happen they said it'd be 15-20 minutes before they could take me back.  i've learned by now that when they say 15-20 minutes, they really mean 30-60.  so 30 minutes later they came and got me.  i layed on a table, turned my feet so my big toes were touching (which hurts my bad hips anyways), he taped my feet in that position.  then i went in the tube.  can you say claustrophobic???  the top of the tube thing i was in was literally 2 inches (if that) away from my face.  and my arms were touching the sides.  i wonder how large people fit in those.... they don't? 45 mintues later i was done.  my back and hips were killing me and my hands and arms were numb.  you can't move a muscle in those MRI's.  it sucks.  i finally left the hospital at 1:30 and made it back to school by 2.  my hip is very sore and still a little numb.. i can't get comfortable... ugh.  and now i'm working for 4 hours at a kiosk.  boo. so now we wait for the results. finding out if i have torn cartilage in my hip or not.  i'll let you know how it goes.  i even got a cool, blue hospital wrist band! check out my picture!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


the old saying, "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.", stands true.
sometimes they are really cute to you.
other times there are straight up douches.
sometimes you don't have a boy you have to worry about.
sometimes thats nice.
sometimes that sucks.
sometimes your best friends both have cute boys and you dont.
sometimes there is a boy that is cute to you but he lives far away.
that ALWAYS sucks.
i just wanna find that one guy who treats me right.
that one guy who respects me and my values.
that one guy that i will spend the rest of my life with.
okay okay settle down, i don't wanna get married RIGHT NOW.
i just wanna know who that one guy is.
thats all i'm asking.
i'm kinda sick of wasting my time dating douche bags.
not so fun.
but i guess i just need to relax and be patient.
me, patient? haha funny..

so for now i'm just waiting for that day when he will walk into my life and make me realize why it never worked with anyone else.

cheers to the freakin' weekend.

i had a very spontaneous weekend.  here is a recap.


8:15: left for school.  yes i went to school on a saturday.  doesn't happen very often, but when mommie wants her hair done and she can't come in during the week, you gotta make a sacrafice and go to school and not work. 

4:50: got home from school.  asked mom if i could go to Parowan (near cedar city for those of you way confused right now) with Ryan right now.  expecting mom to say no, i was freaking out when she said yes! i told her what my plan was. 

  • pick up ry in nephi
  • drive to his house in parowan
  • then go surprise kirst in cedar city
  • figure out a place to sleep ( i told her probably at kirst's or megan's house. megan is ryan's sister)
  • watch conference on sunday and spend time with ry and his fam
  • drive home
5:04: talking to mom and dad about going.  mom said yes as long as i was home before dark on sunday night.  too bad it gets dark at freaking 4pm!! but of course i  agreed to that, knowing i probably wouldn't make it home before it got all the way dark, but i would sure try.

5:15: packing random stuff and putting it in a little bag to take with me.

5:30: driving to pick up stuff from mommie oak's to take to kirst.

5:35: getting on the freeway to go get ry. i definitely missed the nephi exit.  oh there's  3 nephi exits? and i missed ALL 3??  thats me for ya.  i'm great with directions... just ask kirst.  i finally got to him somehow.

6:59: finally picked ry up.  yeah i know, that took WAY to long to get him. ooops... kirst called.  guess where she is going right now? oh just to kanab.  its only like an hour and a half away from cedar!!! i'm ticked.  no kirst this weekend? NOT OKAY.

9:00 ish:  got to ryan's house in parowan. guess who called?  yup, kirst.  good news! she is on her way back from kanab.  she found someone going back to cedar and jumped in their car! (a friend that she knew of course).  i was SO EXCITED.  ry and i got in the car and drove to cedar to see my best fran. 

9:30:  got to kirst's apartment.  i turned the corner and she was standing in the parking lot, on the phone with me. right when i saw her i turned into a parking spot. (well not really a spot, cause i was pretty crooked..oops)  i got so excited to see her, i just outta my car and we ran up to each other and she jumped in my arms.  (ummm this sounds like a  mushy love story... remember that i haven't seen my best friend for over a month and a half okay. so its fine.)  we talked and she took us on a tour of her appartment.  it is really cute!  she was complaining about her bangs being too long and wasnt sure if she could wait another 2 weeks to get them cut when she comes home.  good thing i had my hair kit in my car!  i trimmed her bangs while we were there. 

11:00:  left kirst's place and ry and i went back to his house.  we got into his mom's car and drove up to Brianhead.  we dropped the car off at a friends house and got on a fourwheeler to drive to his cabin.  i drove and made him hold all the bags haha.  it was freezing cold on that fourwheeler.  we finally got to the cabin, ate some food and warmed up.  his whole family, plus some extra, were there.  after they fed us we cuddled up in a blanket to get warm and watch a movie. 

2:00 am:  ry got up and went upstairs to sleep.  megan and i were down on the couches with little kids sleeping on the ground.  all the boys were upstairs and the parents in the bedrooms.

3:00am:  woke up.  replied to a text.  fell asleep.

4:10am: woke up.  rolled around.  i was NOT comfortable on that hard couch.

5:03am:woke up.  i guess i was trying for waking up every hour.  i was contemplating moving to the ground.  i thought it might be more comfy than the couch.  my back was hurtin..

7:32am:  i slept more than an hour this time! it was still to early to be up. 

8:34am: woke up and everyone else was kinda waking up as well.

9:30:  ate breakfast and got ready to watch conference. 

10-12:  watched conference.  felt the spirit.  got uplifted.  thank you.

12-2:  started to watch Rio.  such a cute movie.  decided a fourwheeler ride sounded fun and i wasn't feelin too well and need some fresh air.  he drove us out to a beautiful overlook of a little lake.  we sat and talked for awhile.  ryan is one of my best friends and has been since i was 15.  i love that kid.

2-4:  ate some dinner and watched the second session.  we left at four to go back to ryan's and get my car and go home.

7:00:  saying bye to ry.  saying bye was really hard for me this time.  i had never spent that long with him before.  its usally just a couple of hours that i get to spend with him.  it was an amazing weekend with him.

so raise your glasses && cheers to the freakin' weekend! 
what a success!  i love my best friends more than they will ever know.  thanks for an amazing weekend ry amd kirst :)   

p.s. pics to come soon.